Weight Loss by Osmosis…..         

10 years ago I was a svelte 115 pounds. I walked into any store and bought a size small, no need to try it on.  I didn’t need a workout routine, I waitressed.  Always on the go.  I was 30 and loving it, young and beautiful – rockin the size 5 jeans. 

10 years, two kids, and a desk job later…..things have changed.  I buy Shopko jeans, with the make-you-thinner-panel.  I gaze longingly at the small section and go try on the bigger stuff…and occasionally get stuck in a shirt that I was sure would fit, but I will probably have to dislocate my shoulder to get out of.

I gained 60 pounds with Dante, and lost all but 10…not bad. I gained 50 pounds with Isaiah and lost all but 10. Then over the next 6 years I managed to find 15 more pounds.  I am now shaped like an unattractive fruit…. (Pear). I have the dreaded muffin top, the mini-Michelin man rolls, and the ever so come hither cottage cheese thighs….sexy.

I know, if you didn’t know me back then you’d probably say, what’s she whining about? I don’t look horrible, my friend Dawn will tell me, “Your weight does not define you,” and she’s right.  I have no one to impress – I’m married, I’ve got two amazing kids. What more could I ask for? A small pair of jeans, a tiny waist, a flat stomach….. The list goes on.

So what’s a girl to do? Well let me tell you. I own at least 7 get fit videos: Jillian Michael’s, Pilates, belly dancing, yoga…you get the picture.  At least 3 of them are actually out of the plastic they came in.  I own nearly every “As seen on T.V.” gadget you can think of. Exercise balls, weights, resistance bands, pushup thingy’s, Leg Magic machine, and a few ab devices.  Most of which are still in boxes, collecting dust, or used as drying racks for my freshly laundered clothes.

I own multiple diet books: South beach, From Belly Fat to Belly Flat, The Flat Belly Diet, The 17 Day Diet, and Turn Up the Heat is on its way in Saturday’s mail…..apparently sleeping with these books under my pillow does not offer the desired effect.  It is clear to me that I may actually have to get off my arse and workout.  

Oh, did I mention the Fit Flops, and the Sketcher Shape-ups, neither of which has made my ass look smaller, though very comfortable shoes. And if you offered to sell me a stick from your back yard, touting its magical fat removing properties, I would likely pay you top dollar for that mystical devise.

I’ve inquired about getting a treadmill desk at work, but that was denied.  So now I’m going to guilt myself into shaping up. 

Am I obese at 40? No. Do I look horrible? No. But if I keep gaining my average of 4+ pounds a year, come 50 ...things are not going to be so pretty.

Being slender and looking hot, will be a by-product.  Lowering my blood pressure, getting healthy, feeling good about myself, and having more energy to keep up with my monkeys….that is the desired end result.  I’m not looking for a specific number on the scale (personally I’d be happy if it stopped skittering across the bathroom floor when it sees me. Or the grunt it makes when I step on – one person only please – stupid scale) but I do want the reflection in the mirror to smile back at me, every morning. I want to be comfortable in my own skin again.

I'm going to log my progress here, maybe daily, maybe weekly. Check back and see.